To Resolve Interpersonal Conflict...

I must be willing to let go of my need to:

• Blame you for the conflict
• Be right, and justify my position
• Find fault with your arguments, and make you wrong
• Win, and get my way
• Resolve the conflict immediately

And be willing to:

• Temporarily put aside my position to listen to yours
• Listen with the intention to understand you rather than to find ways to argue with you
• Be curious instead of critical, compassionate instead of condemning
• Appreciate our differences rather than be threatened by them
• Risk sharing the vulnerable feelings and needs that underlie my position
• Trust that you have as much goodwill participating in this process as I do

In order to:

• Expand my heart and mind to include you
• Recognize that we share mutual human values underneath our apparent differences
• Overcome what divides us and discover the common ground that unites us
• Arrive at an equitable solution that naturally evolves from a dialogue that emphasizes empathic listening and authentic understanding

And ultimately decide: 

    We're worth it!