To Resolve Interpersonal Conflict...

I must be willing to let go of my need to:

  • Blame you for the conflict
  • Be right, and justify my position
  • Find fault with your arguments, and make you wrong
  • Win, and get my way
  • Resolve the conflict immediately

And be willing to:

  • Temporarily put aside my position to listen to yours
  • Listen with the intention to understand you rather than to find ways to argue with you
  • Be curious instead of critical, compassionate instead of condemning
  • Appreciate our differences rather than be threatened by them
  • Risk sharing the vulnerable feelings and needs that underlie my position
  • Trust that you have as much goodwill participating in this process as I do

In order to:

  • Expand my heart and mind to include you
  • Recognize that we share mutual human values underneath our apparent differences
  • Overcome what divides us and discover the common ground that unites us
  • Arrive at an equitable solution that naturally evolves from a dialogue that emphasizes empathic listening and authentic understanding

And ultimately decide: 

    We're worth it!