To Resolve Interpersonal Conflict...
I must be willing to let go of my need to:
- Blame you for the conflict
- Be right, and justify my position
- Find fault with your arguments, and make you wrong
- Win, and get my way
- Resolve the conflict immediately
And be willing to:
- Temporarily put aside my position to listen to yours
- Listen with the intention to understand you rather than to find ways to argue with you
- Be curious instead of critical, compassionate instead of condemning
- Appreciate our differences rather than be threatened by them
- Risk sharing the vulnerable feelings and needs that underlie my position
- Trust that you have as much goodwill participating in this process as I do
In order to:
- Expand my heart and mind to include you
- Recognize that we share mutual human values underneath our apparent differences
- Overcome what divides us and discover the common ground that unites us
- Arrive at an equitable solution that naturally evolves from a dialogue that emphasizes empathic listening and authentic understanding
And ultimately decide:
We're worth it!