12 Secrets for Healing Conflict in Relationships
- See conflict not as a problem, but as an opportunity.
- View the other person not as your adversary but as your partner in solving the problem.
- Be fair, and take your share of the responsibility for the conflict.
- Take the risk of truly listening to the other, knowing that you may be changed in the process.
- Be curious instead of critical, compassionate instead of condemning.
- Appreciate differences rather than be threatened by them.
- Refrain from judgments and criticisms, and choose instead to share how you are affected by the other's behavior.
- Disclose your vulnerable feelings rather than blaming the other for causing them.
- Express your needs as requests instead of demands.
- Trust that the other person has as much goodwill participating in this process as you do.
- Balance your desire to prevail in the conflict with your desire for a mutually satisfying relationship.
- Paste this list on your forehead for your partner to see.